one and counting...

Today is Emmy's first birthday.

I was lying in bed at about 2:00 this morning thinking that one year before, at about that time, I was in my hospital bed willing my epidural away so I could be with Emmy in the NICU. They rushed her out of the room so quickly that I didn't even get to see her. I finally met her at about 5:00 am, 3 weeks and 1 day before I should have. It was a long night followed by a long day.

The needles, the tube feeding, the pumping, the C-Pap, I remember it all as if it were yesterday. I remember looking at her little blue toes and being so afraid that they would never be pink. In fact, I can honestly say that the best birthday gift I ever received was Emmy's pink toes. Once every part of her was nice and pink, I knew she was going to be okay.

I am very lucky, that she only spent a week in the hospital. Whenever I think about how scared I was, I think about the other parents in the NICU. There was a little boy who stopped breathing every time he slept, a little girl who was born at 26 weeks and a set of twins that had been there for 2 months and weren't going home anytime soon. All of the babies on her unit were there when she got there and there when she left. I think about them often.

The last night we were in general peds Emmy got a new roomie, an adorable little baby boy. During his four week check up the doctor felt something in his abdomen. A sonogram later confirmed a mass in his colon. He was immediately admitted to the hospital for further testing. His parents were fantastic. They tried for so long to have a baby and were finally blessed with this wonderful little boy. They were so kind and optimistic. I will always remember how genuinely happy they were when Emmy was released from the hospital. I would have liked to have known more about them and learned the outcome of their son’s tests. I often think about that little boy and hope that he is better and was able to celebrate his first birthday with his parents.

Although I sometimes complain about my children (and often offer to give them away), I know how lucky I am. Eli and Emmy both spent a little time in the NICU, but they both recovered nicely and quickly. They are currently healthy children and I am a better person for knowing them.

It is days like today, when my baby girl is turning one, that I realize how important friends and family really are. So, take a moment and think about the last time that you hugged someone you loved for no reason. If you can't remember, now is a good time, because who knows what tomorrow will bring.